the monkey workers
name: angry turd
site: http://www.adjacent.ca
on celebrity: "only in a society as morally depraved as ours can people like hugh grant and r. kelly bounce back into superstardom after their heinous crimes. however, i wouldn't mind sleeping with the former just to prove my point."
name: crixy
site: http://www.geocities.com/kevishness
on strange ebay merchandise: "if a dude can sell his jizz, anything is possible."
name: gem
site: http://www.20six.co.uk/greentea
on growing up: "[i] had a dream when i finally went to bed in the early hours of the morning. there were thirty-seven cats, and they were all mine. i no longer want to grow up and be the bitter stinky cat lady. there is no future for me anymore."
name: inuyasha
site: http://members.shaw.ca/inuyasha
on harry potter: "once again we can enchant ourselves with the mystical tale of a young boy who is trapped underneath the stairs and highly addicted to drugs. in this brilliant sequel, alone and ridiculously bored, harry makes a shanty crack pipe out of his few possessions and boxes the fuck out of his little cubby! during his hallucination, harry actually believes that he has magical powers and, more importantly, friends."
name: meekus doofus
site: http://meekus.vintagedoll.org
on valentine's day: "don't call me bitter! i'm not! i'm about the only one who's normal around here! i know about the evil within this day! i know what the government is using it for! if you'd all just rip those stupid rose petals off your fucking eyes, you'd see it too!"
name: mercury
site: http://www.friedbananas.net
on strange urban games: "we played porno pictionary. i had to depict orgasm. lemme tell you, that ain't easy. "
our mission statement
the conceptual fantasy of smallville, the popular television show, is an intriguing one. the new generation of pop culture harks back to the original days of the comic book era -- regurgitating enigmatic characters such as batman, x-men, spider-man, daredevil, the hulk, and superman to angsty teenagers who attempt to derive links between their real lives and the lives of these supernatural folk. television corporations, like the WB, prey on these innocents' minds, making the superheroes somehow relatable.
the
myth of superman is famous, if not solely for the fact that he was the first
man to successfully wear underwear on the outside of spandex and still be
considered, well, manly. the young clark kent is offhandedly gawkish,
dorky, and just plain naive. the older clark kent is... taller. but superman
is the catch. he leaps over tall buildings in a single bound. he is the epitome
of greatness.
which is why superman in a WB show is so dull. smallville spews forth a predictable, underachieved, strained plot. and we still watch it religiously. (hey, i'm just anticipating those rare moments when my duke of hazzard gets to take his shirt off.) we are the dullsville viewers; we see the show as it is -- a teen drama with just a few more green rocks thrown in to jazz the place up. the characters are hollow, the emotions are contrived, and the romances are forced. every show is structured around the same plot: freaks of the week, misunderstood romantic advances, father-son lectures, ad nauseam.
death doesn't even seem to be an issue to the smallville youths who easily forget about those who passed away in the last episode. where is the mention of ryan? or whitney, for pete's sake? it seems as though lana crying at the end of one episode pays enough homage to these lost characters. the characters of smallville go about their lives in such a singsong manner, as each episode is not part of a greater whole but merely a static environment where nothing is allowed in except the trivialities of that week's specific moral agenda.
and
we still watch it. because we can't get enough of it. dullsville or
not, watching smallville incites intellectual discussion -- "where
does busy lex find the time to memorize all of those julius caesar/john donne
quotes?" -- and heartfelt laughter -- "for real? lana actually had a different
expression on her face?" we can always count on the sappy lessons of the day,
the cliché family dysfunctions, and the teenage love triangles.
plus, smallville is filmed in vancouver, bc, canada, the wonderful city we coincidentally inhabit. so we get easier access to its innerworkings than the regular viewer. sort of. well, not really. but it's just cool, ok? we do, however, know people who went to school with kristin kreuk. and they can attest that she was as dull there as she is on the show.
for all of the aforementioned reasons, we love smallville and its cast of stock characters. out of our admiration, we have made this site to commemorate its effective dullness. kudos, smallville. kudos.
p.s. hover your mouse over all of the images to uncover our take on the photo-op.
© copyright dullsville, est. 2002
we are not affliated with smallville, its cast, or creators. we just think they're funny.
