12/08/03 we are taken back, back into time... when smallville might have actually been interesting. we see what appears to be lana walking down the street in the 1960s, complete with a stupid, dazed look and three men lusting after her. only it's really her great aunt louise whom we're only hearing about in this episode for some unknown reason.
since we're talking about the sixties pre-civil rights act in a hick southern town in the united states, it is understandable the pete is noticeably missing from the flashbacks. but he's hardly even in the present day scenes, which there really is no excuse for.
clark starts touching certain things and experiences a sensation like no other. the same happens outside of his pants, too, when he tries to put a necklace on lana and is transported back to the sixties in the shoes of joe, a drifter from krypton who may have been his grandfather. it appears that the fruity necklace he found in a hole in the cave wall is some sort of virtual diary or log once belonging to ol' drifter joe.
louise, who is married to some farmer hick, decides to kick it with drifter joe in her barn, which looks suspiciously like the kent barn -- (cough) cheap-asses! (cough). they do a little dance, make a little love, and get down that night. it seems that lana's great auntie was a little nympho.
their sex olympics get called off when a low-life thug tries to shoot drifter joe. the bullets ricochet off of his burly chest and get louise (yeah!) and drifter joe stupidly clings to her when her hubbie checks in on them. everyone thinks the drifter killed louise -- when in doubt, blame the drifter! -- so joe books it the hell out of there. he finds himself at the real kent barn, which looks suspiciously like louise's barn -- (cough) cheap-asses! (cough) -- and papa kent to baby jonathan offers to help drifter joe out, because he's just that kind of guy.
what is actually great about this show is that cancer man from x-files makes an appearance as smallville's current mayor, who was the cop friend of louise and her husband. obviously, x-files was a much cooler show than smallville (before its whiny david-duchovney-wants-to-film-somewhere-other-than-vancouver phase), so seeing ol' cancer man made my smallville day.
in old school x-files fashion, the mayor turns out to be the mastermind behind the plot to kill the drifter, using lionel luthor's father whatizface, who was then a petty thief, because the mayor was in love with louise, too, and wanted her all to himself. man, being a dirty 'ho must run in the lang family. upon finding this out, clark forces the mayor to confess to the sheriff by pretending to be the ghost of drifter joe, the man he framed for the murder of sweet, innocent, nymphomaniac louise whom all the man lusted after but could never have. funny, i don't really care that she's dead.
on the luthor-front, lex offers protection to chloe who has gotten herself into a mess with his father. when lex discovers that his grandfather whatizface was a petty thief, he confronts his dad about it and also finds out that they were killed in a housefire -- which was really an explosion that the entire county could hear. leave it to the luthors. so, lex suspects that his dad is a coniving weirdo -- i think the rest of us have figured that out already -- and also capable of murdering his own kin.
LESSON OF THE WEEK / where have all the black folks gone? smallville's cut them, every one. when will they ever learn? when will they ever learn? (ࠬa pete seeger)
alex 12/08/03
when watching this i was trying to figure out from which side louise and that uncle in jail guy was to lana's parents... and then i concluded that it was from her dad's side, but then her dad isn't her real dad because shes mr small's kid... but it couldn't be from her mom's side because her mom is suppose to be asian-asian right? so i got very confused on how a person she's not related to can look like her... thats my rant about this episode :)
you call him cancer man... i call him evil crazy tar man who likes to smoke a lot
angry turd 12/08/03
yeah, i was wondering the same thing after the episode. it's best not to try and figure out the logic (or rather illogic) of smallville -- kills valuable brain cells. then again, it kills brain cells just watching the damn episode.
angela 12/10/03
Haha, Lana is a ho!! Well, we all knew that, I think. I agree... it's so cheap how they reuse all of the sets (especially the loft/barn and the school).
Also, I watched the X-Files and I remember Cancer Man. He was cool. ;)
mercury 12/11/03
i still say that this was one of the better episodes lately. clark looked really really good in it. mainly cause his fringe bangs weren't in the way...
angry turd 12/11/03
bah, it was alright. tom did look pretty good in it, sans the fruity bangs. too bad his hair got magically transferred to lana's head.
alex 12/11/03
lana looked like a freakin' zombie! she was so pale!
hahaha... his hair got transferred to hers XD
angry turd 12/11/03
she was pretty pale... did they really cake on the make-up back in the sixties like that? put her under a black light and she'd look like casper the friendly ghost.
meekusdoofus 12/12/03
okay, lana's aunt's a ho...just like lana :)
angry turd 12/13/03
i think what we're failing to grasp here is that lana can't help but be a 'ho -- it is truly in the genes, so it's not her fault. but that doesn't mean we can't hurl insults at her at every opportunity.
lala 03/26/05
on the asian-asian comment, in season four, lana is in the morgue during "scare" and sees her parents' corpses.
neither of them are asian.
which makes one wonder where lana came from?
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we are not affliated with smallville, its cast, or creators. we just think they're funny.
