05/23/04 it seems only fitting that after missing months' worth of episodes from season three that i'd only manage to catch the season finale. and what's even more fitting is that i really did not have to see any of those other episodes in order to understand the feeble storyline in the final episode of the season.
thank god for right guard! kal-el can't assume his destiny with sweaty pits.
second, lana's leaving for paris? does she think all she has to do is turn her hair into a gelled monstrosity and she can pass for a fashionable european? note to kristin kreuk: you're only half dutch, meaning you only possess half of their freaky dutch tendencies. i can just picture the french spitting her back out to the booneys and cursing, "you uncultured swine! go back to hickville!"
clark receives a strange visitor named kara who claims that she is from krypton and that she and clark are the last two of their kind left. she also mentions that is it up to them to keep the kryptonian race alive. wow, she has all the right lines! unlike clark, who looks dumbfounded during every scene of this episode. and with just cause, since he finally discovers that lex has been keeping his "clark kent experiment" running in the background for the three years of their friendship.
everything is falling apart in clark's world, as always. lana's finally taking her emotional baggage to the frenchies, lex has finally stopped lying, some hot chick wants to procreate with him... wait, shouldn't he be celebrating? but all is not complete in smallville, as lionel luther awaits trial, potentially thwarting life in jail for murdering his parents. clark to the rescue!
clark forgets to drive lana to the airport and she is miffed. she has to take the shuttle (as if!) to catch her flight instead. instead of seeing clark there to see her off, lana runs into lex who, as i've gathered after a few episodes, has been making all the right moves with lana, hoping to get his bald head in there to score some of clark's table scraps.
so, we're finally (whew!) reaching the end of the episode with some strange opera music playing in the background. note to smallville writers: sophisticated music does not a sophisticated show make. we see clark spying on lana and lex caressing each other at the airport. lana catches a glimpse of clark standing there dumbly and runs towards him, only to realize that he's disappeared. boo hoo! lex and chloe have finished up testifying in court against lionel. we see lionel tell some greasy hick to "do it". and while my first thought was gay prison-mate sex, we see lex begin to choke on his scotch and chloe get blown up in her own house. 'tis a sad day in smallville. personally, i hope chloe's not dead. that means they'd have to keep throwing in new girls to keep the lana/clark triangle alive, and that just gets boring. plus, i love how chloe sticks it to da man. by the end of the episode, we also see a naked clark trapped in some blue goo shaped like the superman symbol. apparently, kara was just some psycho that jor-el was using to lure clark back to "his destiny".
LESSON OF THE WEEK / you don't need to watch an entire season of smallville to understand the craptastic story arc of the season finale. save yourself some time and start watching csi, instead.
Alexis 05/23/04
I stopped watching Smallville back during their first season.... This show is so corny!!!
meekus 05/24/04
talk about ghey. i've got so many questions, i don't know where to start. first off, since when was clark jealous of lex's bald head? and since when was jor-el alive enough to talk? and how come all smallville fans are saying "oh no, lana's leaving!"? THEY SHOULD BE PARTYING IT UP - good riddance kristen! and when is WB going to cancel this friggin' show?
Jayden 05/25/04
hey. i missed months and months of the third season also. actually, i don't think i've watched any of the third season. my second season dvd came in the mail yesterday. the first episode i turned on was the one with the hot indian chick that turns into a wolf. she gave clark horny eyes. the second episode i turned on was the one where lana gives clark horny eyes in a wet t-shirt. you're right. the show IS corny. the only ones worth watching are the ones where girls give clark horny eyes.
mercury 05/25/04
"coven" heh! ;)
each time i watch this, i notice that lana's mouth irks me more and more.
Alan 05/26/04
this show is hmm how do you put it?
Oh yeah like I said before......CRAP!
ari 05/26/04
i'm debating whether or not i should bother downloading the rest of season three... hmm, smallville or csi? quite the decision.
mercury 05/26/04
i've watched all of season three and i'd say there's no point using up the precious shaw limit on missed episodes.
ari 05/28/04
i'm thinking of switching to telus now...
crixy 06/02/04
i finished season 3 a few days ago, and yes it was craptastic. sorry for not doing the reviews, i had so many finals to study for but i can still do some short ones for the eps in between...
ari 06/04/04
that's alright, crixy. do whatever you can.
Martha 01/04/05
hey everybody, i think the show is awesome, and through the fourth season i hope to see sme clana action..
also i have a question, i was wondering if anyone knows the name of the song that comes out in the season finale? covenant?? the very last scene, it's like opera..
please help me..
Fuckprincess Bob 04/14/05
Oh, Smallville. How did you lose your way?
Though you suck greatly, my love for thee liveths on.
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we are not affliated with smallville, its cast, or creators. we just think they're funny.
